Being an Empath does not mean you can tell why someone thinks the way they do and many times you do not understand why they think that way, all you do know is the feeling is overwhelming and you wish nothing more than for it to stop. You recognize it, feel it and embrace it, all the feelings of not only what you feel but what the person closest to you is feeling. Talk about some mind boggling shit! Yet being told you are not an empath because you cannot understand where one is coming from or how there thought process works is just brutally mean to an empath. Maybe the person knows that, maybe they don't, but it truly affects you to the point you hyper focus on it. Empathy is a gift not many come with and very few can handle.
So when I am challenged a being an empath because I simply cannot see their point of view should be a reflection of the person directing it not me, so why is it so hard for me to let go of? Oh yes, because I am an empath!!! This is not a quality you hold against or use against another. I just wish I had the control to not let their words affect me so deeply. I am not a fortune teller I can just absorb feelings and sense when things are not right. I should not be held to a lower standard and reduced for it. Yet some people feel the need to do that and well its quite exhausting. I lose sleep, I focus on what I did wrong, try to make it right, even if I really didn't do anything wrong. It makes me want t escape, far away and by myself.
Unsolicited acts to attack and empath are easy to accomplish and sadly enough easier to make it the fault of the empath, because they just apologize to make it right. Then lose sleep over what they just apologized for because it truly makes no sense to them. The hurt last longer then the words spoken and an un-empathic person moves on and cannot understand why an empath hangs on to each word like a dagger stuck in their heart. When you grew up saying stick and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me, that was not entirely true. I would rather be beat with a stick than have someone I Love say awful things to me and expect me to take it and say oh yes that was absolutely my fault. Yet in a sulking whisper I defeat to fault and apologize for I have no idea what, lets not even talk about the double standards people have when doing this. No it is not OK for you to come at me criticize me for the "passive aggressiveness" then pull the same thing with an eye roll.
Empaths and people do not deserve that and maybe your on trauma or idea of trauma is deflecting your pain onto someone innocent. Maybe you have a guilty conscious or guilt of your own that you wish to deflect without thinking of what it does to the other person. I find myself apologizing for things that i have no fault in to keep peace, I find myself extending myself and my good will to people who will cut it down faster than i can think, even if it is family.
So think before you pull the this is you not me card and realize each and every person has a part to play an you aren't always the main character!!