Broken Routine: Wandering Off the Trail

Routines create organization and control chaos, but when life takes you on a different path, you wander until you miss the routine. Finding your way back to that routine is not that easy, because the new path created new routines.

“The best path is the one that’s not there because we are in the process of creating it.”

~ Craig D. Lounsbrough

Finding my routine again

I had a vision, though not noticeably clear, a vision non the less. This vision was how I wanted things to work out and if I just put the work in each day that would happen. However, I did not account on life interfering with life as we know it. That not only derailed any vision I had it set me on a path I was not familiar with. Being the artistic thinker, I am, I looked around and relished in the views of this new path. I became enthralled and overwhelmed with the freedom it offered. Being an Aquarius I enjoy freedom and adapt to the energy I am surrounded by. I try to see possibilities in almost every situation I encounter, this new path being no different. Yet at the same time, when things become too mundane, I lose interest and lack motivation to complete any vision. That is quite possibly my biggest fault and I have seen that in full color over the last two months.

The world as we know it has changed, the way we interact, socialize, work, and exist. Fear has become a new normal and criticizing others for not thinking the way we do on the level of fear or carelessness is creating divides in friendships. This new path was very free and inviting at first, a calm to the everyday hustle of life that made it hard to find moments for yourself. Routine was there and whether we picked the routine, or it picked us, it was what we knew and not always to our benefit. The path I had been on was one of confusion and many turns as I tried to map out a new life for myself. I never felt settled and fulfilled, I guess for an Aquarian that is a bad mixture that would create fear, fear everything and run kind of fear. I wanted to take this new calm road and start a new routine, one that was filled with growth and potential to express mt artistic side, follow my passions. I ended up standing on a path forgetting the beauty around me to reorganize and paint everything in sight.

For myself I find that organizing helps me put my thoughts in order and control chaos. So, I took the new path I was on and started reorganizing everything around me to feel somewhat in control. Forgetting I was on a new path but trying to create a new path with routine. I was failing miserably, so I thought. I like to know things, the what, how’s, whys and of course the possible outcomes. This new path in life was making that hard, if not impossible. I still cannot figure out any of those, yet I am seeking controlled chaos. I need to find a routine on this new path but not lose sight of the vision I had before U found my feet planted on new steppingstones. So how does one find a new routine without even knowing what lies ahead?

Routine means a fixed way of doing things on a regular basis, seems easy enough huh. I wish, but all I see is confusion and wondering will my path change once things calm down? Will my new routine fall behind if that does happen? So, I face the challenge of organizing myself into exhaustion to control the chaos going on in the world instead of focusing on the new path I am on and the beauty that surrounds it. I am giving myself deadlines, which anyone who knows me knows I suck at those. I am trying to make my immediate world around me perfect enough to create a new routine. This all seems like I will be stuck on the path of uncertainty with no h hope of any routine.

So, I need to calm my mind, thoughts, and eccentric visions in my mind and just breath! I need to remind myself to look around me to enjoy the beauty, relish in the possibilities and be thankful for the blessings. If I can do those things a routine will develop on my new path.