Day 6: Please Let Me out!

I bet you had a schedule, a plan, cute little lunches, creative dinners or maybe you were going to finesse a long lost hobby....yea so did I...insanity ensued.

“When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.”~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

My Rope is Beyond Knotting

Yes, we all had this grand plan for our self-quarantine. Homeschoolers unite, they were sharing their tips and tricks, working parents were rejoicing with the business on top party on the bottom and kids were tossing books in the air. A long-needed staycation so we thought, then day 6 hit and insanity were leaking from every pore. Homeschooling parents are endorsing neighbor scavenger hunts to get five minutes of peace, people working from home have tossed their laptops a few times already and students miss school. We were not ready for this, we had little to no time to prepare and well I have decided I am not sure I really like my family. Of course, I love them, but I don’t need to like them. I also never realized how small my house was until day 6 of this lockdown. I swear this is the start of the purge and I don’t even have a cool outfit. I have washed more dishes than a Michelin stared restaurant and I’m counting toilet papers squares like they are some new form of payment.

Yes, I am losing my grip on my rope. I have tied a few knots trying to climb higher away from this chaos. I am ready to mandate showers as a daily activity and start giving passes to the kitchen. I am starting to believe in corporal punishment for attitudes as well but then again that might insight riots. We don’t have room in the house for that. I have paced every room, cut the bushes with scissors and well the neighbors will never befriend me after this. I am writing to escape and then my B gets stuck, what the…. who put something on my keyboard. I must hide everything lock my self in my room with ear plugs. Why didn’t I think of earplugs? I am totally making a lock down bug out bag because there are many staples I didn’t think of and the main one is ear plugs.

So, what now, do I go drill instructor and start PT at 0630 each day? Do I become OCD with schedules and exhaust myself by 11am. I have organized the closets and arranged the spices in alphabetical order. I am officially running out of OCD ideas to keep me occupied. I have discovered the between Disney+, Netflix and Amazon there NOOOTHING on to watch. I gave up on the news because I was losing sleep and thinking people in white coats pretending to be the CDC would break down my door. Yes, the news can instill mass hysteria and false sense of fear. In fact, I have all but given up on caring about coronavirus and more worried about how the heck I will get through the day without running through the neighborhood naked and screaming. I mean we have games but listen after 5 days you no longer care to play nice with your kids, every man for his own. I just need a nap. Yes, that can work, nope, my mind is going a million miles a minute and that cute little toddler wants to play yet ANOTHER game. Good lord help me, she found all my hiding spots and decided she will only eat chicken noodle soup. Its Ok I have this, and we will get through it, we just must allow for meltdowns and maybe make it a family friendly event. Everyone screams, complains and dishes it all out then laugh and start a family friendly game of Uno. If not, well we can pray, so please pray for me. Please. Oh, and you cannot bake bread in a slow cooker don’t waste your ingredients.