Finding your Own Way

“Normality is a paved road: it’s comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow on it.” ~ Vincent Van Gogh

I have spent much time in my thoughts about where I have been and where I want to go. As I sit and think about it all, sometimes the path seems so boring. Like is there even any life on this path I walk along. Granted I may have chosen this simple path years ago when I had decisions to make, but now I am at a crossroads where I am ready to choose the bumpy, windy path lined with flowers and freedom to wander. Sometimes we create someone to be because our circumstances call for that. I was a young mom who needed to focus on raising children not so much on chasing my dreams. Now I am a much older adult but still young enough to chase that dream. Then again, is there really an age cut off to chase a dream?

The last two years I have been trying to find me, the person I left behind 27 years ago, the person I was before trauma affected my thinking, the person I know I am deep inside but feared what others would think. Now I am closer to not giving a crap and discovering who I was, am and want to be. I still have this love and insatiable desire for life. But how does one who is finding their way express that love in their own fashion? I am trying hard to really focus my energy on what brings me joy, calmness, and pure clear thinking. I will admit I have stumbled and fallen down a time or two wondering what on earth am I doing. Yet I receive support from some of the most unlikely places and people.

I am learning to take those bits of positivity and support to manifest an energy that will attract similar energies. I am finding my own way in a world of uncertainty and new normals. Life is purely what you make of it. You can focus on the bad and downtrodden forced upon you or you can brush it off and smile only to see the positive and forward moving energy. I can tell you that it is not easy though. I have faced self-doubt, self-questioning and realizing I do not need to explain my self or my ways with others. I simply need to look at the basics and leave the complicated ways behind me. Realizing I prefer the road less taken, the one with bumps, dips, and the occasional rock or two but lines with flowers to make me smile bigger.

“Normality is a paved road: it’s comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow on it.” ~ Vincent Van Gogh

So here I am finding my way in a life I am designing.