Pursuit of Love: Part 5 - Learn to Love Yourself

Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself. So live the life you imagined.

Henry David Thoreau

Love - the word that I have been pondering over for quite some time. I understand the meaning of love and I believe that even through my trauma and pain I have the ability to give love. Yet, when it comes to loving myself, I struggle. Like many others, loving yourself requires some true inner reflection that can be uneasy but very rewarding once we unpack Pandora's box.

I have taken the last two years off from finding love, and letting my broken heart heal. It wasn't an easy road at all, In fact, I was creating an unhealthy relationship with my ex, causing more confliction with my path to understand love and learn to love myself. I can say that during this time I have learned that no matter how much you love, how much you have to offer or give sometimes it just isn't enough. And, it is not your fault. Even if you accept your part in the demise of the relationship, sometimes you love someone not because they will love you, but because they needed your love to grow. That is a topic I touched on before and it is one the harder ones to process. Yet, while dealing with that topic I was discovering myself and learning how I want to love myself.

I have learned that it is not only important to find yourself but yet create yourself into who you wanted to be before love changed you, or in my case before life happened. But now it is my time and this path will mean rebuilding and starting over. As I refocus my thoughts on who I want to be and what I want, I am learning only I can love myself whole again. The love I have for who I am and who I want to be is the forefront of my growth, which means I am not ready to love someone else right now. Of course, I love my family and friends but not in a romantic way that can drag you down when you don't have enough love for yourself.

You truly cannot extend love and fill someone else's cup with love and expectation when you aren't full yourself. You can't just be full either, you must generate an endless source of self love. That is going to require you to be who and what you want. Loving yourself is actually quote freeing, even while you go through the process of recreating yourself. When you have achieved a self love that doesn't devalue your worth, you can then share love with someone else. It wont always be the way you want it and it may take more than you expected. So this is why loving yourself is crucial, because once you love yourself enough you won't find yourself pouring endless love into someone or something that doesn't just take it all from you.

Love yourself, everyday, use words of affirmation, a post it not with encouraging words, anything that makes you smile and remember that your value is based on how you love yourself not how others love you.