Sometimes the Rock Needs a Hug Too

Always the strong one, get it done one, the rock everyone leans on. It is a great position to have and an important one as well, yet sometimes the rock gets tired of being hard, strong, and always leaned on. When you have established the role of being the one who everyone looks to it can become quite lonesome. Constantly fixing issues, preventing problems, and keeping it all together but, who can the rock lean on? There is a saying that goes something like the person who is there for everyone else needs someone to be there for them as well. That quote always strikes a nerve with me, because I am the one who everyone looks to and needs yet I have no one to lean on or hug when it becomes too much for me.

I am used to being the rock because I have basically been a single mom my entire motherhood. I raised three kids alone, kept a house a home, a family together and even as they become adults, I am the one who fixes it for them. I love being a mom, but man would it be nice to have someone to lean on, hug and just rest for a bit. I am a person who keeps to myself a lot so maybe I am the reason I have no one to lean on. I am selective about who enters my life and extremely selective about who occupies my time. I have been hurt, burned, cheated, and betrayed by people I let close to me, but I still crave that hug and connection. Maybe that is why I look at myself as the rock, the hard one.

I have created a shell that is impenetrable, and it has become hard. Yet, I long for someone who I can lean on when I get tired. Life is not meant to be lived alone, yet here I am rocking it like the rock I am. I wonder if maybe I just give off the aurora of, I have this and I do not need anyone. I wish I could teach myself how to break through the rock I have formed around myself. Yet I find it a quiet retreat when things get tough or ugly. But deep down I long for someone to just hug me and say it is going to be ok. I am not looking for someone to break my shell just willing to hug me even if I am rough around the edges. I suppose a rock needs a hug too sometimes.

It truly is hard breaking that rack hard layer you have built around yourself, but it is something I need to learn to do. I probably would not beat myself up so much about not having a place to seek a hug or someone to lean on if only I would allow my roughness to just go soft at times. But when you spend most of your time being tough and taking care of others you really do forget what you need. And right now, this rock needs a hug, a safe place to rest and just know it wont all be fixed but it will be ok for the moment. So, hug a rock today, they may need it more than they show.