When Grief Opens the Memory Box

Grief is something we have all experienced in some form one time or another. It has its way of working through the steps during your day, week, and month. One thing no one mentions is when grief opens a portal of memories that just make you numb. As I face this moment in my life, I cannot help but reflect and allow the emotions of the memories to flood through me. I knew that this time would come but not so soon. Not only was I an embedded part of this family but now I watch from the outside in. Moments that altered memories are swirling all around me. The memories created flow through me and leaves me beyond grieving.

He was a gentle soul whose smile could light up any room. His love for life was beyond what we all desire, he truly embraced it and it infected everyone around him. He was quite possibly the father everyone wishes to be and a friend we all wanted. Looking back on his life make it even harder to say goodbye. Watching Alzheimer’s overtake him was hard but getting to see him one last time was a blessing. Now I sit here reflecting on the memories over the years and hurting so deeply because that memory box was packed away.

Sometimes we encounter moments in our life we wish we would have handled differently or even changed. I was a proud member of the I regret nothing and now I am eating those words. I regret that moment that changed everything and locked the memory box. Grief and loss have a way of bringing those memories back to life and bringing people back together. I just wish I had learned this lesson long before this moment. I know that he is in a better place and smiling behind that drum set. I am grateful I can say one final goodbye. I am holding a grief that goes beyond just the loss of one person, but the family I was once embedded in.

Grief is a natural part of loss and how we handle grief is up to us. I hope to heal some wounds and keep that memory box open to add future memories. Because if there was one thing, he would want is everyone to be happy. This grief is so hard because I am not only mourning the loss of someone special but the memories I have of when it was great. I will always hold them in a special place in my heart and pray that they have comfort during this time. Grief has no boundaries, and it touches everyone. Grief has a way of opening old wounds and healing them subtly.